Chilli is a girl who signed up 4 months ago. She owns just 196 Kpops and was last seen here about 3 weeks ago
This is too much.
All my life I have been through this over and over again. Already the first time I loved someone, and he told me, that he loved me back, it was a lie. It was always just a lie.
Like everyone else, I've had plenty of relationships. But somehow my relationships always ended like this. A guy cheating on me. Lying and lying about his feelings for me, and then he just threw it all away. Everything, that i thought i had. And the more it happened, the more I didn't think t...
This is too much.
All my life I have been through this over and over again. Already the first time I loved someone, and he told me, that he loved me back, it was a lie. It was always just a lie.
Like everyone else, I've had plenty of relationships. But somehow my relationships always ended like this. A guy cheating on me. Lying and lying about his feelings for me, and then he just threw it all away. Everything, that i thought i had. And the more it happened, the more I didn't think that i could ever love anyone again. Just before I met him, I really believed, that love didn't exist.
I really believed in this guy. Why, I don't know. He just made me feel special. Really special. With him, I was always beautiful. Somehow he made me believe, that he would be faithful. Of cause it was all just a lie.
I don't think I'll ever trust anyone ever again.
'Cause there he is. On the couch we bought together. His hands is on the cheek of some bitch, I don't even know. Of cause her hair is long and blonde. The blondies always gets what they want. Unfortunately my hair is red. Maybe I could dye it blond.
And then she leans to him, and kiss him. And he kiss her back. And I've seen enough.
They look up, when I turn around, heading for the front door. "Rose!" But I keep walking, I have to keep walking. Then I feel his hand on my arm. "Rose, please listen to me!" The panic is clear in his voice and his face. But i just look at his hand. "Get that off, before I break your arm." I almost get scared. My voice is not more than a whisper, but the hate is cutting in my ears like a knife. "Let me explain." "Give me one good reason." I look in his beautiful dark eyes, just wanting to poke them out of his head. "I love you" he desperately whispers. "Not good enough." I turn around, but he wraps his arms around me, in a tight, desperate embrace. He's so much stronger than me. "'Cause i wont let you go."
"Fine!" I sneer at him. I can't move. "Explain." But he doesn't say anything. "Explain!" I repeat, while turning my head an look in his eyes. "Or tell me, you love me. I'll believe you." He doesn't say a word. He just slams me against the wall, kissing me roughly. I bite my lip, refusing to kiss him back. I see an opportunity, and hits him hard between the legs with my knee. He falls to the floor, gasping from the pain. I look at the blond bitch. Shes at the door between the hall and the living room, eyes widening as she look at him on the floor.
"He's all yours now"
Love doesn't exist. Or at least not in my world. · close
This was the place I saw him the first time. I immediately knew that he was something special. His eyes, his lips, his face, his hair, everything was just perfect. For some reason he felt the same way about me. I'm sitting here with my laptop, trying to focus on my work, but he keeps coming back to my thoughts. Maybe it was a bad idea to sit here, but the armchair is so cozy, and I love the giant window beside me. I can see everything on the street.
Even though i keep looking for him. Why...
This was the place I saw him the first time. I immediately knew that he was something special. His eyes, his lips, his face, his hair, everything was just perfect. For some reason he felt the same way about me. I'm sitting here with my laptop, trying to focus on my work, but he keeps coming back to my thoughts. Maybe it was a bad idea to sit here, but the armchair is so cozy, and I love the giant window beside me. I can see everything on the street.
Even though i keep looking for him. Why? I don't want to see him again. I hate him, right? He kissed another girl, why wouldn't i hate him? I even caught him doing it. And I gave him the chance to explain. I told him, that if could look straight in my eyes, and tell me, that he loved me, I would forgive him. But he just stood there. He didn't say anything. And I left, of cause I did, and he didn't stop me.
I have been through this before. Everyone has. The pain, the regrets, the anger, but it always comes to an end. Nearly always. For some reason, I can't get over him. The time we had was just so amazing. I really believed that he was the man for me, like he said over and over again. The little things he did, the funny comments, the compliments. He made me feel special and wanted. He made me feel beautiful and hot. At the same time. No one have ever made me feel like that. So damn loved.
His kiss. I've had allot of boyfriends, and they were all great kissers, but hiskiss... I think that he might be the best kisser in the world. And his touch. Sending shivers down my spine every time.
I can't understand how he could do it. We really had something. I'm not sure, what it was anymore, but I believed that it was love. Apparently he didn't.
We were together for four months. I've had much longer relationships, and that took less than a month for me to heal. Now, two and a half month later, I'm sitting here, whining about how much i miss him. I don't quite get it. Maybe i just have to stop thinking, and start working instead.
"is this seat taken?"
I don't even look up, completely focused on my work. I have to, if I don't wanna' think of him. I just say "no" in a low voice, and someone takes the seat in front of me. I keep working. Whoever it is, it doesn't matter.
"Rose?"
Except if it is him.
I look up so quickly that my neck cracks, and i have to rub it, to get the pain away. But there he is. Out of nowhere, he sits in front of me, starring at me with his deep, dark eyes, and his sidecut a little messed. He's wearing that white, tight shirt, that i loved so much. That i love so much. I can really see his muscles. How am i suppose to say anything, when he looks so damn good?! I clear my throat, and get a "hi" over my lips.
"how are you?" he asks, like he really cares. "fine" I say, trying not to sound too freaked. "what about you?"
"awful. It has been the worst two months in my life."
"two and a half" i correct him. He gives me a little smile, and i feel like i can melt right there, if it wasn't for the fact, that it is impossible. But i make sure not to show him.
"on top of everything, as always" he says. I can't help it, but smile. Yes i am a controlfreak, but I have been counting the days.
"so have you been seeing anyone?" The question surprises him a little, but he answers without blinking. "no. I haven't stop thinking about you." Why does he say that?? I raise my left eyebrow, trying to look like I don't care "really? What about that tall blond bitch, you were kissing?" I really sounded jealous. Damn.
Out of nowhere he reaches out and takes my hand. "that" he says, not taking his eyes away from mine. Good he's gorgeous. "was the biggest mistake i have ever made in my entire life" I freeze. "How is that possible?" I sound way too surprised. If it was any other guy, i would've said "bad for you" and left. But i can't move. "I had never felt the way, I felt about you before. I guess that scared me. And then, when you wanted me to say, that I loved you, I panicked. But i did. And i still do" He takes my other hand, and look directly in my eyes. "I love you, Rose"
I almost breaks my laptop, when i grab him by his shirt and kiss him. · close
